At the end of last month, a “FuNkY atomic VINTAGE Craftamatic
Mark 1 ORANGE metal TYPEWRITER retro INDUSTRIAL” was sold on Australian eBay
for $165.50, after 21 bids.
One has to take one’s hat off to this seller, who lists a vast range of items as "FuNkY atomic" and consistently manages to
score ridiculously high prices for what is essentially recycled junk.
Goodness, this outfit even managed to get $45 for a “FuNkY vintage
Maori TIKI TEKO KAURI carved WALL HANGING” (in other words, el-cheapo tourist crap) and $41 for “FuNkY vintage RETRO
Tiki Kitsch” (beyond any polite description I can think of).
Now that takes some effort!
The “FuNkY atomic VINTAGE Craftamatic Mark 1 ORANGE metal
TYPEWRITER retro INDUSTRIAL” item was listed as a “Fantastic rare CRAFTAMATIC
MARK 1 typewriter is such a fantastic vibrant ORANGE colour … it looks FuNkY on
display ... just love how the casing is ALL METAL - very industrial! Has the
function to operate on both black and red ink … just flick the switch to change
the colour. Currently installed with just black ribbon-only minor signs of
wear. Love the shape of the keys - they are the classic square boxed.”
But at the same time, one has to feel a bit sorry, too, for the hapless buyer
(there appears to have been no feedback for this item yet. I wonder why?).
Let’s face it: The “fantastic rare” “FuNkY atomic VINTAGE
Craftamatic Mark 1 ORANGE metal TYPEWRITER retro INDUSTRIAL” is nothing more than a common or
garden Nakajima. Worse, being branded as a Craftamatic simply means it is a “no-name”
typewriter. Neither as a Nakajima nor as a "Craftamatic" is it even vaguely
approaching the description of it being “rare”.
“Craftamatic” was an el-cheapo label stuck on mass-produced
(100,000 a month! Each company! Rare?) Nakajima and Silver-Seiko typewriters shipped
into Australia in the 1970s by a Melbourne company called Currie Furniture Manufacturers, run
by John Currie. They sold back then for just over $50.
Currie Furniture Manufacturers was abbreviated to
“CFM Industries Pty Ltd” on a sticker on the back of many of
these machines. This gave the false impression they were made in Australia. "Craftamatic" was one of many registered tradenames used by CFM on a multitude of
imported items: another was Pinnock. Indeed, in the past week, two “Pinnock
Craftamatic” typewriters have sold on Australian eBay, both of them
Nakajimas.
I was so outraged by the $165.50 spent on a Nakajima no-name
typewriter I decided to invest a few of my own hard-earned dollars on a Nakajima that both literally
and figuratively had no name. The el-cheapo CFM labelling had fallen off the
ribbon spool cover.
The machine arrived with lots of rust and other suspicious spots
– but, in fairness to the seller, it was exactly as described. No lies about it
being “rare” with “only minor signs of wear”. This typewriter had seen far
better days.
My idea is to take it apart, completely clean it up (remove the rust etc),
repaint it in “FuNkY” colours (whatever they are!) and list it on eBay as a bit
of an in-joke. I’ll be very interested to see what price it might fetch. I will, of
course, be completely honest about all this in my listing description and with
the eventual buyer, if there is one. We’ll
see how it goes.
In the meantime, dear reader, any clever suggestions regarding a name
and a combination of "FuNkY" colours will be considered. So far, my thoughts are:
Name: FUNKAMATIC.
Colours: Pink and purple, or lime green and ming blue.
OR
I can paint the two sides, the underplate and back section, and the
ribbon spool cover in different colours, by may use just the two.
I won’t try to be completely deceptive by painting the paper plate
as well.
This morning a Facit was listed on Australian eBay for $200,
with no mention of the fact that it had very clearly been repainted – and not
very well at that (note the original colour on
the carriage, yet the sparebar is blue!):
Remember Frank Sinatra’s song High Hopes? The chorus went:
But he's got high
hopes, he's got high hopes
He’s got high apple
pie, in the sky hopes
Last week some very hopeful soul listed for $999 (Buy it
Now for a snip at $1999!!!) a “VINTAGE TYPEWRITER TORPEDO LATE
1800's GERMAN MADE COLLECTOR ITEM”. Try mid-1950s, and drop the apostrophe! It
is, the seller claimed, an “EXTREMELY RARE FIND
AND WORKING!” It’s in a poor, rusted condition, and one can see that, even if the
photos are woeful!
Almost
as much – but not quite –wishful thinking has gone into the pricing of this
Alpina: $499 starting bid, $998 Buy it Now. It’s a great machine, but a
thousand dollars? Umm … no. I just gave one of these away to Richard Amery, who was probably stunned to see this listing:
Nonetheless, I do like the approach of the seller trying to flog this Olivetti Studio 45 (with very grainy images) for a steep $150: "My pretty Olivetti Studio 45 wants to know ... 'Do You Love Me?' " Yes, I do, but not with $150’s worth of love, I'm afraid …
Rob.... you missed the Adler Tippa 'Cursive', that was actually a Tippa with a standard typeface.
ReplyDeleteBut I was also stunned at that poorly painted unit getting such an absurdly high price. But hey... Anything that got imported through CFM out at Scumshine...
I also sent an email to the "Torpedo" poster, correcting that he was way out with his age estimate - but to no response.
Just as well those latter units didn't sell.. But I would love to know on what basis they believed they were asking even close to a fair price.
Sometimes I entertain myself by searching TYPEWRITER on Ebay just to laugh at some of the descriptions and prices. Then I check completed auctions and many times feel sorry for the buyer that got sucker in on some of the junk.
ReplyDeleteI vote for purple and lime green to make a Barney typewriter. (Barney the dino on children'd TV here in the states) and go one step farther and heatshrink the platen a different color as Richard did with his Torpedo.
Hahaha, funny you should mention that Tippa - I messaged the seller to say it wasn't cursive. Poor bloke ripped that off the internets somewhere. He hasn't changed it yet tho.
ReplyDeleteI think if you got it a hot pink and a pink would be absolutely FUNKTASTIC..
Have you ever noticed how rare all of the Underwood 5's are on eBay?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I like the purple, with the ribbon guard in pink. I have yet to come up with some 'funky' name, but I will try!
Beauty (and rarity) is in the eye of the beholder... none of those brands are known to me, they didn't sell in my country; so if I eventually came across one of those "funky atomic all-metal" typewriters with Spanish keyboard I'd probably consider adopting them.
ReplyDeleteThat said, how about painting the cover in fluorescent Atomic Green, and the typebar in funky industrial fluorescent Radioactive Blue?
(I mean, the body in fluorescent Atomic Green, and the typebar cover in Radioactive Blue...)
ReplyDeleteThe name Funkamatic really deserves to be on a typewriter. Which reminds me ... I'm about to post the video of my Turbo Torpedo with the original FuNkY music.
ReplyDeleteI like the name: FUNKOMATIC!. Here in Argentina it´s the same. On a site like ebay are published some common typewriters at high prices.
ReplyDeleteHere in Switzerland, you only get the high prices - not the grotesque listings you seem to find down under. Pity.
ReplyDeleteI saw these listings too... amazing silliness. But, Australia is far away and if you can talk up a 'rare' and 'antique' typer, and base your prices on reconditioned models from mytypewriter.com (hey! that must be the ballpark value of my rusted/stuck/rebadged model), then people will try and get away with it.
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit of a value-bubble, really - many typers (being less common) will go for much higher prices than they do in the states.
rino