The FuNkOMaTiC Typewriter is funkily Ready to Rock 'n' Roll

In between snow and all sorts of other winter weather, the sun has broken out for sufficiently long spells in Canberra during the past week for me to complete the FuNkOMaTiC paint job.

I like Dwayne's idea of an "Etsy-style description photo with it sitting out on a Starbucks' table next to an army surplus messenger bag and a Moleskin notebook. So fresh, funky and hipsterish!"
I'll give some thought to that presentation next.

In the meantime, I've started on a deliberately overblown description. It goes like this. Any suggestions, please pass them on:

At long, long last, here it is …

The world famous, the unique, the one and only, the fabulously FuNkY, Atomic, Retro 

FuNkOMaTiC TYPEWRITER

The funkiest, most atomic typewriter ever made!

What exactly is funky?

Well, Funky is Earthy, Original and Modish; Unconventional and Bizarre. It’s Outlandishly Vulgar and Eccentric, in a humorous or tongue-in-cheek way.

And Atomic in this context?: EXTREMELY cool, one step up from tubular  (look it up in the Urban Dictionary)

And retro? Folks, this is retro with an “r”, an “e”, a “t”, another “r” and an “o”: Yes, that’s right: R – e – t – r – o!

This is a one-of-a-kind FuNkY atomic typewriter, believe me

Just look at those colours –

Geiger counter Green!

Violent Violet!

Mushroom Cloud Orange!

Wow!!! These are such FuNkiLY strong colours they could blow a hole in the Ozone Layer

These FuNkY atomic colours are so strong they could withstand an A-Bomb blast!

No other FuNkY, atomic typewriter has this combination of colours! I can guarantee it.

And look at those FuNkY keys – ALL 49 OF THEM!!!
The wonderful Swiss and Italian style “bucket” concave keytops are designed to fit your fingertips like a hand in a glove. This typewriter is designed for ULTRA-COMFORT typing! Now that's Atomic!

And what about the FuNkY boots? Look at those beautiful, neat-fitting little funkerish bootees underneath the typewriter!

And the FuNkY case!!! A matching violet-coloured case!!! 

Wow upon wow! This is an incredible once-off offer! Grab it while you can! No other FuNkY atomic typewriter like this will ever be sold on eBay (or anywhere else for that matter)

See how well you can type with this FuNkY beauty

This FuNkY atomic typewriter is an absolutely prime example of the finest Japanese typewriter design work and manufacturing techniques: it originally came from the famous factory of Nakajima ALL. And so it's ALL FuNkY, ALL atomic ...

Beware of pale imitations: This isn’t a Craftomatic. Craftomatic typewriters, which have been selling on Australia eBay for as much as $165, are cheap relabellings by CFM of Melbourne of imported Japanese typewriters. They were no typewriter makers called Craftomatic or  CFM. No, this is not a Craftomatic, it’s a unique, one-of-a-kind

FuNkOMaTiC!

This FuNkY, atomic typewriter comes from a home with a cat in it. Live with it. We do.

IMPORTANT:

THIS TYPEWRITER HAS BEEN COMPLETELY REFURBISHED. It has been totally stripped apart, completely degreased, utterly re-lubricated, and has been thoroughly blown through with an air compressor. It has also been re-spray painted and re-labelled. It will leave the seller in perfect working condition. Plus:

IT HAS A BRAND NEW RIBBON.

You can't ask for better servicing than that!

This is the sort of complete pre-sale service you get from only two or three other typewriter sellers in Australia.

POSTAGE:

This FuNkY, atomic typewriter will be carefully wrapped in bubblewrap and packed in a box in such a way that only an A-bomb could damage it in transit. It will be couriered to and hand-delivered at the front doorstep of the auction winner at a cost of a mere $10, regardless of where you live in Australia. 

Note to Typospherians: This whole project is designed for amusement and to underline the ridiculousness of certain eBay typewriter sales in Australia. Nobody will be harmed, financially or in any other way, by the joke. The idea is not to play a prank at anyone's expense (except mine!). Once the eBay auction has run its course, the typewriter will be offered, as described, to the auction winner at a sensible, reasonable price. No profit-making will be involved.